Yawnz..

Dear Hawk,

These few weeks I slept very early in the morning at around 6+ - 9+am till evening but I realised no matter how long I sleep, I still felt tired. Guess there's really a period of golden sleeping hours. Should I sleep early? Actually even if I wanted don't think I can fall asleep. Yawnz..

Msg for the day: 太轻易相信男人、太轻易原谅男人，就像是注定欠了那个男人一样。我说女人呀，还是别太容易心软才不会吃亏。
Song for the day: Teresa Teng - Qian Yan Wan Yu [邓丽君- 千言万语]

I'm Sorry..

Dear Hawk,

Not gonna write much.. Just want to say "Sorry, guys!"

Msg for the day: 一失足成千古恨。
Song for the day: MLTR - 25 Minutes

Police Force??

Dear Hawk,

I am lost now, not sure whether to try apply for police officer. Shawnie just explained to me the downsides where I have never thought of. I hate bond and if I sign up, its a 2.5 years bond inclusive 6 months training. They may fired people anytime within the bond and no retrenchment fee also. If I quit after the bond, my working experience is zero thus hard to find a decent job. >_<

Msg for the day: 你会选择面包还是爱情？没有面包的爱情能长久吗？有面包没爱情会快乐吗？这两者之间能平衡吗？我也不知道喔！正所谓知足常乐，我想只要努力应该可以办到吧！哈哈！
Song for the day: Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes

Vulnerable..

Dear Hawk,

Its ironic when you most in need of someone, but that person is unavailable or not there. Well, one can't expect a person to be there forever for you either and you can't be always there for that person too. That's life. Btw, Faker, thanks for accompany me last night on msn/sms, greatly appreciate that. You better sleep early also, got school so early in the morning still online till so late. Kiddo. >_<

Msg for the day: 切记：别过于依赖一个人无论他是谁。我领愿依赖我的动画、漫画与小说至少他们不会有看尽、读尽的一天。就算有，那时我也不会在这世上了。你说呢？哈哈！
Song for the day: Huo Jian Hua - Jian Shang Qing Ting [霍建华 - 肩上蜻蜓]

Why Black & Not Blue?

Dear Hawk,

Its 7.45am in the morning, as usual I am still awake. Actually I was quite tired but couldn't resist the temptation of my novels. Should I go sleep now? I doubt so, I guess I shall go downstair take my breakfast, I wonder which stall will be open so early. After than I think I shall continue with my novels. Yeah! Nice plan right?

My template nice? Black is so cool and the design is simple and nice. I doubt I will ever change this template layout unless I found another cool black theme design. So why black and not blue? Its time to practice my chinese again. Ever since I finished my chinese 'O' level, I have never actually write in chinese or even type unless for some ocscassional inspiration of lyrics. That's why I decided that my message for the day to be written using chinese. Weird? That's me! Many people commented that I am weird and crazy! Oh well, since I am quite used to those comments so not much impact on me.

Msg for the day: 蓝色一向来都是我最喜欢的颜色。蓝色对我而言是开朗的。雨过天晴的天空是蔚蓝的，让人感到自由和舒畅。蓝色大概适合当疗伤的颜色吧。Monday Blues 也就是忧郁的星期一或许是许多学生和上班族的感叹。但对我而言它是特别的，时喜时悲就是它给我的感触。但不晓得何时我开始爱上黑色。别误会，蓝色我还是喜欢的，不只是蓝色，其实我喜欢的颜色太多了但不包括红色和褐色。别问我为什么，因为一切都是凭感觉的。

我会爱上黑色是否也意味着我不想从黑暗中走出来呢？对我而言，黑色是优雅的、神秘的、伤感的、安宁的。很矛盾吧？我承认我的心理和思想是矛盾的，导致我时常会优柔寡断。所以我不喜欢也不想做决定。深怕错误的决定会给大家和我自己带来烦恼与不开心。如果说单单在思想方面，我很高兴我还是理智的。但无可否认黑色描述着我的内心世界。

有好多人到了夜晚会有许多复杂的感触侵入内心深处，尤其是一个人的时候。可我无论是不是一个人都没分别，所以你们还是幸运的。虽然我已经习惯了但有时还是会感到疲倦和无奈。有人说黑色意味着悲伤、不幸、甚至是死亡，黑有那么可怕吗？我倒觉得人的心才是最可怕的。如果我说只有在黑暗中我才感到安心和宁静，你相信吗？
Song for the day: Xiao Gang Zhou Chuan Xiong - Huang Hun [小刚 ~ 周传雄 - 黄昏]

If We Hold On Together..

Dear Hawk,

Early morning I was with Ah Tian at BM mac for supper and had a chatting session. My brother don't want to join us. He say we nothing better to do and ask Ah Tian go and die. Lol! I think he just too lazy to go out of house. Before I went out he already go back room sleep. I just came back home from Bugis with Kai my little god brother for dinner, little as in age and not in height. He is 180cm in height and I am only 163cm. Even my sister is taller than me. Why so unfair? I also wanted to grow taller, too bad I have passed that puberty age. *cries*

Msg for the day: 在情场，往往最简单的要求是最难办到的吧。专一是我唯一的要求，两人简简单单长长久久地走到生命的尽头，两人携手度过生命中的酸甜苦辣，不离不弃。不过长长久久太遥远了所以一天算一天的度过比较实际。很童话是吧？想笑就笑吧，憋住可会中内伤的！你对你另一半的要求又是什么？在你作出要求的时候，是否也应该注意到他或她的要求是什么？在还没开始恋爱的时候应该问清楚你们是否能达到对方的要求。或许这样的恋请成功的几率比较高吧，因为爱情本来就属于两个人的。是要双方的努力和付出才能维持两人的关系。正所谓孤掌难鸣大概就是这个意思吧。这也意味着如果两个人的要求、看法和想法相差太多，这样的恋情若强求会幸福吗？这一生中一个人会有多少时间来改变另一个人呢？一个人又能承受多少失望和委屈呢？难道就想步上绝望的边界？这样你又会开心吗？值得吗？

换个方面来看，爱情并不是生命的一切，还有亲情、友情甚至是和陌生人之间的微妙感情与同情。活得充实才是理智的吧。至于如何去寻找生活目标，那就要看各人了。没有人可以控制你的人生，命运是掌握在自己手中的。人生短暂，今天不知明天事，还是珍惜眼前人吧。说了这么多，其实我也还没找到我想要的生活方式。或许寻寻觅觅就是人生中的一部分吧，哪怕是要花上一辈子的时间，这也得看个人的造化了，只要不放弃还是会有希望的。自暴自弃就等于毁了自己，这种人不值得可怜！切记：这只是我个人的想法也是我所能给自己的意见，所以并没要求你们同意。我也希望有一天能走出自己所布下的黑暗。虽然不容易但你永远都不会是一个人的，让我们一起努力与尝试吧！别放弃！加油！
Song for the day: Diana Ross - If We Hold On Together

English or Singlish?

Dear Hawk,

After reading my friend's blog, I felt ashamed of myself for using singlish. Should I try to use standard English instead? Well, maybe I should try. I realised one thing; its hard to think of a title. I always have difficulty coming out with a title for my entries. I had this problem too when come to writing lyrics. Why is that so? Anyone feels kind enough to enlighten me for I am too lasy to ponder the reason myself.

This morning I should be going in office considering it has being a long time since I step inside but I overslept despite the fact that Ah Tian morning call me. Then tonight I should be meeting Cloudz and Ryn at orchard but then suddenly change to mahjong? I am not really keen on playing mahjong mainly because I somehow forgot how to play! Why should I waste $$ in this case right? I actually agreed to go and play awhile then ask Cloudz to come and replace me. Is this idea so impossible? At the end whether the mahjong session is called off or not I am not sure, maybe they find new players? I think Ryn is pissed with me but I don't think I am wrong. >_<

I just painted my nails with the help of my sister but then actually wanted to test colours on Ah Tian but his handphone battery flat. Thus now my nails except thumb nails are all base colourless coating and no colour. Now I am reading online novels.

Msg for the day: 从以前的海玉转变成今日的冰玉并不是我能想像得到或期望的。如果时间能够倒流，我相信有许多人和我一样想回到从前那不懂男女之间的爱是什么的时候。无需经历那失恋，暗恋，等待与你爱的人不爱你的痛苦。我很向往那无忧无虑的日子。但我也知道现实总是残酷的，经历过不如意才会成长。犹如要学会走路跌倒是必经的过程。这样的人生未免太累太没意义了吧。
Song for the day: R.E.M - Everybody Hurts

I am lost..

Dear Hawk,

Anyway, this afternoon I have being watching shows and animes as usual.. In the evening I should be meeting Ken to get my carebear but then I can't make it so nvm ba.. Then just now Hakam introduce me a 'paid to surf' site.. Hmm.. They got payment history sample available so it is not a scam.. Anyway, anyone who like to join me as my referral can click go in My StudioTraffic . keke.. Let's earn $$ together.. I think I am going to create a website to better explain how it works if I am 'free' and willing to do.. =X

Msg for the day: 人活在这世上到底是为了什么？经历生老病死？此刻的我看不见任何未来，每天过着盲目的日子。时间一天天流逝，我就越来越迷惘。找不到生活目标让我好无奈好想默默的从这世间消失。但又有太多的事情得顾虑，我往后的日子该这么办？似乎天地都没有我容身之处。
Song for the day: Zhou Hua Jian - Wang You Cao [周华建- 忘忧草]

Boring Wednesday!!

Dear Hawk,

Today I did nothing much other than watching animes, some shows and pester kel to help me edit my blog and setting up a chatterbox.. Lol.. Actually I wanted to ask him to help me add in a media player inside.. But he don't want help.. =( Anyway, thanks for helping me!!

Don't have to thank me for being there when you are down coz I knew exactly the feeling of no one is there.. For me I should have gotten used to that feeling but honestly I still felt the full impact everytime.. Don't want any of my friend or even any stranger to experience that.. I think I am kinda irritating in the process so here I am to apologise.. Sorry~ keke..

Msg for the day: 等待和期待的滋味似乎不好受。我说别有期望就不会有失望，但我也知道这是不可能的。因为人嘛往往在心中自然会有某种期待无论多渺小。真是自找苦吃！下辈子如果可以选择，我才不要做回人类。
Song for the day: Li Sheng Jie - Chi Xin Jue Dui [李圣杰 - 痴心绝对]

Meetup with Emily & Tarryn

Dear Hawk,

My tuesdays have always being very normal except this time. Let's see, I slept around 5+am and woke up ard 11+am. I went to ICA building in the afternoon to renew my re-entry permit after watching finished my animes which was rather late. After that I went down Orchard area to find Emily and Tarryn and Emily brought a guy friend along. Geez! I forgot his name.. =X

The reason for this gathering was coz Emily going to Australia next year Jan and she don't have time to meet us for the rest of the year. Anyway, we went Swensens for dinner, I ordered baked curry chicken rice and merry mint ice cream. It was quite fun actually coz we had fun talking and making fun of each other. Several interesting scenes happened which I'm not going to write down. keke..

After dinner, Emily's friend left to find his mum while the 3 of us went KTV @ Partyworld. The same place that last time Xeno make a fool of himself by getting drunk and vomiting inside the room. We sort of got scolded and 'chased' out by the management there for smuggling liquors inside the room. Lol! No no no.. I am not going to write down those 'juicy' details.. keke.. =P Okay, back to present, I didn't really sing much coz my singing is simply horrible!! Emily went back ard 10+pm while Tarryn and me left 11+pm.. I reached home 12+am.. This basically sum up my tuesday..

Conclusion: Broke~!! Spent $50 for my re-entry permit and then around $35 for dinner + ktv..

Msg for the day: 我很抱歉我一时的脆弱带给你困扰。对不起。。
Song for the day: Liu Ruo Ying - Yi Bei Zi De Gu Dan [刘若英- 一辈子的孤单]

My New Blog!!

Hi Hi~ This is my new blog~ Now what shall I name this blog?? Hmm.. Hawk shall be the name of this blog~ Hawk is my favourite fantasy character coz the name so cool!! =) So I shall just write to him.. Anyway, don't think I will use proper standard English coz its simply too tedious =X Ohya.. I will be using chinese characters too.. Unicode UTF-8 will be the encoding.. I hope I will update often since I seem to neglect my previous blogs.. Last but not least.. Congratulation to myself for finally bother to start this blog.. Yuppy~!! Dear Hawk~ 请多多执教！！Sorry for forcing my ramblings on you and Thanks for listening to them.. Lol..